Posted on Tue, Apr. 12, 2005

Hurried, harried

Many women racing down the fast lane of life may be suffering from a newly named and dangerous syndrome.

BY MOLLY MILLETT
Pioneer Press

If you're too hurried to sit down and read this story, sit down anyway and take a deep breath.

Now, here's the news: You might have Hurried Woman syndrome.

Dr. Brent Bost, a prominent Texas obstetrician/gynecologist with a holistic approach to medicine, developed the phrase after taking the time to really talk to his patients about their lives when they were visiting him for their annual pap smears or other routine appointments.

Again and again, he sees exhausted women pushing aside their own well-being while juggling the responsibilities of home, family, work and other obligations.

"The root cause is chronic stress," says Bost.

To help American women get off their hamster wheels, the doctor has studied the problem of hurried lives, spoken and surveyed other OB/GYNs across the country and has written a book, "The Hurried Woman Syndrome: A Seven-Step Program to Conquer Fatigue, Control Weight and Restore Passion to Your Relationship" (McGraw-Hill, $22.95).

"I think most women can identify with the title," says Bost. "Our pace of life continues to accelerate. We've got 24/7 news; we can talk on our cell phones while we're using the toilet. I used to dictate letters, and it was a 10-day process after mailing the letter and then waiting for the mailed response. Now, e-mail makes it a much faster process. I do wonder if we are reaching the edge of our ability to handle it."

But how do you know if you have this syndrome, which Bost says affects one in four patients, or 30 million women? It often afflicts women between the ages of 25 and 55 with children between the ages of 4 and 16. But others develop it, too, such as people juggling stressful careers or caring for sick relatives, says Bost.

The doctor looks for four red flags:
• Fatigue
• Moodiness
• Weight gain
• Low sex drive

The syndrome, says Bost, is caused by the same chemical imbalance as major depression, but since the imbalance is not quite as severe, he describes the syndrome as "predepression."

Bost says the DSM-IV, a reference guide for mental-health professionals, classifies what he calls the syndrome/predepression as "minor depressive illness" with three to four symptoms of depression of at least two weeks' duration, but he doesn't like that classification. Why? Because the doctor says there is nothing "minor" about the way Hurried Women feel, and depression has negative connotations for many women who don't want to be labeled.

Whatever the malady is called, any woman who exhibits Hurried Woman symptoms should see her doctor for a thorough check-up, says Bost, but she also needs to examine her hurried-life choices.

"It's a lot of stuff that your granny would have told you," says Bost. "Learn to say no; tell your husband to help do the dishes; take your hand off the throttle; smell the coffee; get back on the exercise wagon; get off the Atkins Diet."

Bost's book is one of many that has hit the market recently that address the issue of today's stressed-out woman, including "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety" by Judith Warner and "The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined Women" by Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels.

The Pioneer Press asked a stress expert to read materials from Dr. Bost's book and give us a second opinion.

"I think so many men and women now lead incredibly busy lives … that's the nature of the society we live in," says Mary Jo Kreitzer, Ph.D., R.N. and director of the University of Minnesota's Center for Spirituality and Healing.

"People are juggling a lot of balls. In my mind, the bottom line is that it's so important that people take charge of their health and look at their lives from a perspective of health and wellness. That's what (Bost) is doing in his book," she says.

"Sometimes, I think there's nothing new, it's more how you package it. This is not a medical syndrome, but there's a lot of literature out there on the effect of stress and not eating well and not exercising."

To combat this kind of stress, Bost's prescription for a better life involves seven steps:

Create balance in your body: Start the healing by scheduling a thorough check-up. Take vitamins. Get in some aerobic exercise. Limit sugar, alcohol and caffeine.

Find the right caloric balance: Avoid trendy diets and aim for a 40-30-30 ratio: 40 percent of your diet should come from protein, 30 percent from fats and 30 percent from carbohydrates. It comes down to counting calories, says Bost, which isn't glamorous, but it works: "After years of counseling patients on the subject of weight loss and watching their progress on all kinds of diets, I assure you that calorie counting done properly works well compared to any other diet method I've seen," he writes.

Exercise, no matter what: This is a crucial step for re-energizing a Hurried Woman but often a difficult one for her to find time to do. Her schedule is so busy, and she feels too tired to squeeze in anything more. But Bost says you must expend energy to get more energy. Try something simple to start, like a brisk walk on your lunch break or doing exercise tapes/DVDs at home.

At first, do a minimum of three half-hour exercise sessions weekly and add a session after two or three weeks or push up the time in each session by 10 minutes each week until you see improvement, with a limit of a one-hour session. A side perk of finding time to exercise, says Bost, is that you give yourself the gift of finding time for yourself.

Rekindle the fire: In family life, Bost says, a man sometimes substitutes work for his relationship with his wife; a woman substitutes her relationship with her children for the one with her husband. Hurried women need to learn not to push their men away (and becoming less hurried should perk up your sex drive); men need to remember that doing the dishes or vacuuming will get you more affection than picking up a bouquet of flowers.

Identify your priorities and set reasonable limits: Immediately begin "the year of saying no," says Bost. Learn to limit your activities. After this year, you will gain a better perspective on what you can and want to juggle. Hurried women often lose track of who they are, what's important to them and where they wish to go, Bost says.

Get the best of stress: Why is it so crucial to become unhurried? We've learned to accept our busy, stressful lives, but just because we see that pace as normal doesn't mean it's healthful, says Bost. In fact, those little stresses of everyday life will ultimately have a big toll: Stress can damage hearts, cause blood-pressure problems, Cushing's syndrome and more.

"There are long-term ramifications if you stay hurried," says Bost. "You are going to shorten your life span."

Some good news: In his book, Bost actually prescribes retail therapy to feel better — that's right, ladies, shopping!

"It has to be monitored, but sometimes going out and doing a little shopping for yourself, maybe spending $30, can feel good," says the doctor.

Organize your world: Clutter is stressful, so getting a handle on this really will make you feel less stressed. Also, get a big family calendar and put it where everyone can look at it, says the doctor; set limits on children's activities; delegate chores.

Stephanie Astrup, a stay-at-home mom of three children ages 5, 3 and 6 months, says she is definitely a hurried woman, but she's not sure if she has the Hurried Woman Syndrome. She thinks hurrying is a habit for her, since she feels rushed even if the day isn't jammed full.

"I think I would read this book because even though I already know a lot about the things to do, like exercise and eat well, you need to hear it to remind you of what you should be doing," says Astrup.

"I also need to tell myself that these years, when my children are small, aren't going to last forever. I need to worry less about toys on the floor or milk that has spilled. I am also trying to cut back on activities, like MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers group) and my sewing group, because I'm going to be vice president of the PTA next year."

For tips on how to reduce stress, visit the University of Minnesota's Center for Spirituality and Healing at www.csh.umn.edu and click on the prompt for "Keeping U well through online learning" near the bottom of the center's home page.

For more information about the Hurried Woman syndrome, visit www. hurriedwoman.com. The site includes Dr. Brent Bost's attitude and mood assessment quiz and a Q&A with him. You also can submit your own question to Bost, who lives in Texas, and is married with four children.

Molly Millett can be reached at mollymillett@pioneerpress.com or 651-228-5505.